Der Humpink
by That-Cheeky-Bat
Summary: Bunny sees Jack doing something…off. But his curiosity is peeked as he watches Jack giggle with glee and laugh after each odd action. Jack, on the other hand, had never had so much fun in his life – and it peaks when a certain Pooka shows up just in time for the last bit of 'fun'. M/M One-shot


**A/N**: Guys...can we keep **Shanatic** away from my imagination please...nothing good _ever_ comes from when she sneaks down to the dungeon and let's it off its leash :(

Sigh. This came to fruitition this time by a video on Youtube by the name of : Christoph Waltz, Der Humpink and us PMing over the course of the night and well into my morning about running amok in Italy with Dr. King Schultz and Cap 'Murica...don't ask I don't know either she brings out the _worst_ in me and it doesn't help much that we are _both_ insane.

Now, I am going to go eat the Jaffa Cakes that came in the mail along with the Jammie Dodgers till I can't see straight. Still workin' on the WoaD scene for those of you who stalk me (I know who you are don't try to hide), Manny's and working on the next Chapter of Intricate Kingdom's too.

Once again, a One-shot, sloppily done, a drive by encounter (again) between Jack and Bunny and I need to go meet up with friends at the pub...no really it's an Irish Pub. So...ta!

**Sex ahead mates!**

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Bunny was out gathering vegetation, drawing plants looking for inspiration for designs for next Easter's eggs and just generally enjoying stretching his legs while he milled about in nature. What he hadn't expected was to hear Jack's sure voice from behind him, followed by him shouting excitedly, "Der Humpink!"

This baffled Bunny, and because he was secretly a curious being by nature, he poked his head out from where he'd just found a particularly nice looking plant that held various designs to its leaves. He watched, his ears perking up on the crown of his head as he watched Jack Frost flitting about the town, dry humping things, digging through his hoodie's pocket and then slapping a blue ribbon bow onto each item he dry humped followed by him shouting, "Der Humpink!"

Jack, on the other hand, had never had so much fun in his life. After watching a video, to which Jamie had shown him, the idea had sparked into his head to take part of this odd—yet fun—looking charade. It was also turning out to be one of the best things he'd ever done in his entire life. He'd never been so tickled with fun in his life as he did this to _everything_ he came across, dry humping it for the laughs and then slapping a blue ribbon on it while excitedly shouting, "Der Humpink!"

It _literally_ had him in a fit of giggles.

Bunny was perplexed. He shot out from the brushes after Jack had shot past on a quick gust of wind and followed him, eventually following him back to the edge of his lake and feeling worried for the boy. He had never seen Jack act quite this immature before, even as intriguing as it _was_ to watch him dry hump things and slap a bow on them. Honestly Bunny could've sworn Jack had been cracked in the noggin' at some point and left to mill about without the proper care.

Jack came up to one of his favorite trees to lounge in on his off time and dug through the pocket of his hoodie. It was his last bow for the night and with a depressed thought he realized it was about to be the end of his fun for the night. Luckily for him, though, something was looking out for his sense of fun. He heard Bunny call his name from the edge of the brush and then he turned, a grin rising on his mouth and he approached Bunny, immediately knowing what he was going to do with the bow.

Bunny raised a curious brow when Jack stepped towards him, a sultry smile to his face along with that shit eatin' grin of his. He immediately was on guard when Jack stepped up to him and he wondered just _what_ Jack was up too now. It couldn't be good if he was giving him _that_ look—not that he didn't particularly _like_ that look on Frost, but it _did_ feel out of place when he _knew_ Frost was lookin' for some version of fun.

"Jacky, mate, what're ya doing runnin' 'round dry humpin things and shouting in German?" Bunny asked, leaning forward and letting his paws grab hold of Jack's head to search for any bumps, bruises or lacerations that might've been cause for a head wound.

"It's fun!" Jack replied in a chirping voice that rang with enthusiasm, showing just how much fun he _had_ been having with that particular game of his.

"Runnin' 'round actin' like a thirteen year old, dry humping things and then adorning them with bows while shoutin' 'Der Humpink' is _not_ mature _or_ Guardian-like." Bunny reprimanded with a condescending tone.

"But it's fun!" Jack whined out, leaning forward with that grin on his face, making Bunny take a careful step back.

"Ya realize how immature that idea of 'fun' is, don't ya Frostbite?"

"I'm 18; I'm still _very _capable of being immature…" Jack's eyes rolled away briefly before he sent a sultry look towards Bunny that had him stunned for a moment before he turned a curious look to Jack. "But…I'm _also_ capable of being humped just as good, if not _better_ than the way I was doing it."

Bunny froze briefly, the words sinking into his usually stubborn, thick headed self and then it was assured by Jack's oh so come hither wink. Bunny's lips twitched briefly before he took Jack up on his not so subtle invitation. He grappled Jack to the ground, ravishing his mouth with his as he untied the drawstring of his pants and tugged them down, Jack wriggling with excited pants of breath before Bunny flipped Jack onto all fours. He set away to letting his paws roam over that milky skin, feeling how cold it was even in the heat of the moment. He sucked in a shuddering breath as he began to harden from the sensation of feeling Jack's skin and smelled that sure hint of arousal from him, briefly wondering if he should stop this and think straight before Jack pushed his rear into him and made him release a guttural groan that rumbled through his chest.

Jack thrilled at the prospect that Bunny had responded—correctly might he add for once—to one of his blatant come-ons. There was _nothing_ better than a good roll in the hay with the large rabbit-man, especially because those paws just felt _so_ good on his skin as they roamed over his back, massaging and kneading loving paths along it followed by licks, nips and kisses that had Jack shuddering and a mess of shaking limbs and unparalleled need. When he felt Bunny freeze behind him, like he normally did at this point when he tried to apply logic to the situation instead of just having _fun_ with it, he pushed his rear backwards and heard that grumbling, guttural groan from Bunny that had him panting out a cry from that sound and the feel of Bunny's rigid flesh at his ass cheeks.

Bunny groaned as he leaned forward and gave Jack's back another messaging before he looped an arm around Jack's waist and hauled him up, relishing in the feeling of Jack's hands as the roamed on his body—tugging at his ear, rubbing the tuft of fur at the base, raking his hands through his Mohawk fur between them and then making his way downward, shifting slightly in his lap, to grip and tug at his tail with just the right amount of force to make him all the more needy. He pushed Jack back onto the ground and gave his back one last longing lick, from the edge of his ass to the base of his neck, before he grabbed up one of his magic eggs—which he always kept on hand these days—and cracked it open. He had never regretting bringing one of his magic eggs along these days for when this exact situation popped up, especially when the magic eggs gave him _exactly _the thing he needed to make it all the more pleasurable for Jack—and helped made the entire act that much smoother. He poured the lube from inside onto his erection, used the bit that had slipped onto his digits and worried them into Jack—properly preparing him so he wouldn't hurt him—and then slowly, painstakingly carefully, thrust into Jack—panting the entire time from the mixture of pleasure that shot up his spine from the sensation of Jack slowly encasing him as he gently thrust forward.

Jack groaned as he felt Bunny prep him, but no matter how much prep there was it always pain when Bunny entered him. It had sucked to die a virgin, but at least he knew that he'd _always_ be tight just for Bunny—who always seemed to like that aspect. He clawed his fingers into the dirt, pawing at it and gritting his teeth in pain before Bunny fully sheathed himself inside and waiting patiently. They remained unmoving for ten good, solid, minutes—biding the time with fondles, groping and Bunny's pawed hand giving him a quick pumping session to keep him erect—before Jack patted the ground, thumping his hand against it in a sure sign to Bunny that he was ready.

With a roar Bunny set away to pounding into Jack, starting slow at first before he let his primal side off its leash and began to plow into Jack with a speed only a Pooka could muster. Jack surprisingly handled it well, even daring to flip onto his back halfway through the hour long session, and letting Bunny pump him with enthusiasm as he finished pistoning his hips forward in sharp, uncontrolled, thrusts—lost to the building pleasure that was coiling in both their abdomen's. Jack came first, spurting his seed across their stomachs and then Bunny followed five minutes after, slumping forward and grunting his dislike of Jack's sudden movement out from under him after only a moment, but lacking the functionality of his limbs to stop the Frost sprite from moving quickly.

Jack wriggled out from under Bunny, chuckling happily—if not walking funny. He watched as Bunny's limbs slowly returned from their jelly like states that came with their post coital love session and tugged on his pants. He dug out the last bow and when Bunny finally stood Jack stepped up to him, fully clothed and gently—but with firm care to ensure it didn't fall off of Bunny—slapped the blue ribbon onto Bunny's crotch with a quick rising to his toes, laying a quick kiss to the side of Bunny's muzzle and then flitting off laughing.

Bunny was stunned, frozen from the whiplash of what had just happened and then looked down at the blue bow that adorned his crotch. Bunny, for a brief moment, stood proudly and crossed his arms as he let the idea that he'd just won first prize cross his mind. Then, as if to pull the rug out from under his feet, Jack flitted back by and with a teasing yell shouted,

"Der Humpink!"

Fin

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**Shanatic** _and_ my Imagination, both of you, corner...now and no sniggering! I'm watching you two, behave damnit. Also can you tell I'm trying to practice this? Mostly I'm trying to break down that short circuit I seem to have between what's in my head and what I need to write down and Shanatic just keeps handing me prompts that I somehow knot together...stahp it.


End file.
